Yesterday was tough. I’m heartbroken from recent news that some hospitals are prohibiting all visitors, including partners and support people of women going into labor and delivery (Article linked HERE). In other words, some mothers, will need to birth alone. One of my best friends was delivered this gut wrenching news yesterday by her doctor – that her husband will essentially need to drop her off at the hospital doors when she goes into labor in the next week or so. I debated posting this, but it’s what’s on my heart today – women deserve birth support. Please know that this post comes from a place of love and support, and is not meant to upset, or create panic or fear…
Dr. Aviva Romm @avivaromm is launching the #ideservebirthsupport campaign to raise awareness for a woman’s right to have support during her labor, delivery, and post-partum period. As part of this campaign, Dr. Ava Romm is asking women to share their stories and why having support during their birthing experience was so crucial. So, this movement is not about me and my story, but about the expectant mothers in this COVID19 world. (And no, I’m not pregnant.)
My Story
My first labor and delivery was a complicated one. I labored for 30+ hours, pushed for FIVE hours, and at one point Ryan and I were playing tug-of-war with a knotted blanket to change up the pressure because Mairen’s head was too big and not coming out. One final shot before an emergency c-section, doctors were able to deliver Mairen through a vacuum-assisted delivery.
Who was by my side providing emotional and physical support, and advocating and making decisions on my behalf that I was incapable of making myself through these 30+ hours? Ryan, my husband and support person.
When I was in recovery for 3 hours afterwards due to third degree tearing, passing out, losing blood, and on the brink of a blood transfusion, who was with me? My mom, who came in from the waiting area while Ryan was with Mairen in the nursery.
Following Mairen’s birth, I was in rough shape, had zero energy, fainted again trying to walk to the bathroom, and on top of all of that, I now had a baby to nurse and take care of too. Who was helping me? Ryan, my husband and support person.
Between those four very small walls we had no idea what the hell we were doing, but we tried to figure it all out together. I remember telling him our first night in the hospital that after going through that experience with him, I saw him in a whole new light. I truly would not have been able to do it without him.
My Thoughts
No woman, no matter how smooth or complicated her pregnancy, birth or post-partum, should be forced to go through it alone; without a support person who knows and loves her. Women deserve birth support.
I know that these decisions were not made lightly, and are being taken as a precaution to protect newborns, mothers, medical staff, resources, etc. from COVID19, but they were made AGAINST New York State Department of Health guidelines. Are there other options or extra precautions that can be put into place to avoid this? I honestly don’t know the answer to that. It all just seems so unfair.
How You Can Help
If you want to help advocate, here are some actions you can take:
- Sign this petition and share on your social media channels.
- Contact the COO of your hospital, anyone you know in media, your mayor, your governor, your state senator, and ask your OB or midwife to advocate for you. Explain why birth support is so essential for your wellbeing, and the health of your baby and family.
- If you feel compelled to get personal on Instagram:
- Post a photo that depicts your birth journey (pregnant, in labor, birthing, you and your baby after birth, etc.) and explain in the caption why having support during your labor and delivery was so integral to your health.
- Use the hashtag #ideservebirthsupport and tag @avivaromm
Thank you for listening as I share what’s on my heart today – women deserve birth support! Thinking of all the expectant mamas out there in this COVID19 world. You are not alone.
XO,
Kate